


Pirate and Aqua

by Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: A fic for cat lovers, Cat Sitting, Fluff, If you hate cats keep out, Just overall love for the boys and cats, M/M, adorable if I do say so myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:32:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21923032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Succubusphan/pseuds/Nefertiti1052
Summary: Dan and Phil cat sit for a week and that changes their lives forever.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 26
Kudos: 36
Collections: Phandom Fic Fests Holiday Exchange 2019





	Pirate and Aqua

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thewakeless](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewakeless/gifts).



> This is my Christmas exchange fic for @thewakeless, I really loved writing this story and even though it's short I actually took a few days to write it to get it as close to perfect as possible; I hope you like it! I tried to keep to the description of Banana that you provided. 
> 
> I will request pictures of her for a special project which will be posted once the authors are revealed. Edit: project added at the end.
> 
> Special Thank you to my lovely beta, @artlessdynamite who is always of great help.

It always amazed Dan how Phil managed to get them into this kind of situation - every - single - time. 

He sighed as he rubbed his toe with a cotton pad soaked in alcohol to avoid an infection. He wanted to be mad - at her and Phil both - but he couldn’t. Banana purred and head-butted his sheen. At least she was black and wouldn’t completely ruin his jeans with her fur. Smart woman, she knew he could never resist those huge green eyes and her warm cuddles. 

Phil sneezed and sniffled on the other side of the room as he read the leaflet containing information of the pills he had taken an hour ago. 

“You know, you should have thought about this before you said yes to Lauren. You know a week of cat sitting is too much. You can barely spend half an hour in this flat without sneezing and wheezing,” Dan pointed out.

Phil pretended not to hear him for a few seconds, but finally answered without tearing his eyes away from the paper. “I don’t know what you are talking about! I'm perfectly fine. My girl Banana and I are going to spend an amazing week playing and cuddling.”

“Of course you will,” Dan said shaking his head with a knowing smile.

Phil said nothing; he pinched his nose, got off of the couch and looked out the window, trying to keep the impending sneezing fit at bay.

“Mreow!” Banana demanded Phil’s attention by putting her front paws on his legs and stretching. Her sharp claws coming out and grabbing onto his jeans to give her purchase. 

“Aww, come here, sweet girl.” He picked her up and placed her on his shoulder, letting her chew on his hair as she loved to do. The sneezes finally found a way out of him and banana was not too happy about her personal cat tree shaking so violently. If cats could frown, she would have been frowning.

Dan looked at them with an amused expression. “You will spoil our kids rotten, Lester, and I will have to divorce you, you know?” He wrapped his arms around Phil.

“Ah, well. Too bad you can’t divorce me now, Howell. You would have to marry me first.” Phil wiggled his eyebrows.

“We’ll see about that,” Dan kissed him and walked out of the room. Banana followed him with her eyes curiously. 

\--------

Dan rolled on the bed, still asleep. Reality mixing with the dream world and manifesting as a black wolf with light green eyes standing on his chest, pressing him into the ground. His lungs compressed under the weight of the giant beast making him feel breathless. The earth trembled under him with the force of an earthquake, he tried to move but he felt constricted by the force of a new creature. He could barely make the shape out in the dark, he blinked trying to adjust his eyes. When he finally caught sight of it, he wished he hadn’t: a giant centipede wrapped its legs around his torso. 

Dan tried to fight for his life as best as he could, but it was futile. All he managed was to trash helplessly. 

“Mrrr?!” 

He opened his eyes and blinked repeatedly, trying to understand where he was. Banana was laying on his chest purring loudly; her green eyes shone in the dimly lit room. He turned his head to the right, Phil slept peacefully despite the fact that he was clutching Dan tightly. 

He sighed and let his head fall back into the pillow. He was considering going back to sleep when Banana came closer to his face and after examining him for a few seconds, gave him a really rough lick on the tip of the nose that made him squirm and smile. “Oh, hello to you too,” he whispered. He sighed once more and buried his fingers in her soft fur, scratching her gently. 

Fifteen minutes later, he finally fell back asleep, his hand still on her coat and his face turned towards Phil, partly because he loved watching Phil in the moonlight and partly because Banana had fallen asleep curled up on his face. 

\-----

After the second day at Lauren’s flat, Dan realized that he didn’t remember the last time he had seen Phil more at ease. Despite his allergies acting up, he didn’t seem to mind at all. He took every opportunity to cuddle with Banana or play with her as long as she accepted the invitation. 

To be perfectly honest, Dan had forgotten what it was like to have a pet that you could cuddle and interact with constantly. He had never lived with a cat, in fact, he considered himself a dog person, but the fluffy ball of energy was winning him over even more than when she'd been adopted as a kitten and Lauren had let him bottle feed her.

They had come such a long way, getting to know and trust each other. Being away from home was hard on his mental health most of the time even though having Phil with him made him feel at home wherever they were. He was still prone to feeling anxious at times, but Banana seemed to realize when he was starting to feel bad and kept him company, purring and letting him pet her. He felt emotional just thinking about animals and their love for their adoptive families. Up until this week, he hadn’t noticed what was missing in their lives.

“Dan?”

“Hmm?”

Dan turned to Phil and found him petting Banana’s butt; she was laying on his shoulder like a lifeless rag and enjoying the petting session. It didn’t look comfortable at all but she certainly loved that spot. 

“I know we said only one pet, but I feel like it’s the right time. We have already gone on vacation this year, so it would be a great time to adopt a new one and be involved in their growth before we can travel again. After all, we said Japan was our last trip for at least a year.” Phil eyes shone with unshed tears. He desperately wanted a kitten, Dan knew it.

“I thought you wanted a dog...”

“I do! But I hadn’t experienced having a cat before and Lauren told me if we want to go out to meetings or for a night out, cats will handle it a lot better because they are more independent. That’s why I offered to do this, I wanted to know what it was like. I think that the calm energy of a cat is more suited to our lifestyle.”

Dan came closer to them and scratched Banana’s back, making her turn to him. “What about your allergies?”

“I spoke to my doctor and he said that I can get shots to build resistance to it… and there are also hypoallergenic cats,” he wheezed softly.

“I think it’s time for another pill, I’ll take her.” 

“Thanks, I’ll be right back,” he pecked Dan’s lips before leaving in the direction of the bedroom.

Dan took the cat by her sides and brought her to his chest. She looked at him curiously as he tried to curl her up in a more comfy position. She bit his finger softly, not hard enough to pierce the skin but with enough intention to let him know that she didn’t approve of him manhandling her. 

“No? Ok, you settle down then.” She turned on his arms and settled on his forearm, letting her 4 legs hang comfortably. “Oh, sorry. I must have been crushing your legs in a weird way.”

A bird chirped outside the window and the spell was broken. She hopped off and climbed onto her cat tree making weird noises at the bird. If Dan would have had to describe what he interpreted from that behaviour, he would’ve said that she looked like an angry human shaking her fist to someone who cut her off in traffic. 

He approached her slowly and gently petted her head as gently as he could, praising her hunting instincts. “Awww, who is a wild kitty? Are you a hunter?”

Phil returned wrapped his arms around him, resting his chin on Dan’s shoulder. “I think she is!”

“How would we go about it?” Dan asked.

“A shelter, of course. There are already so many animals who need a home, we don’t need to buy one.”

“Ok, let’s see how this week works out and then we can decide together.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think we are ready.”

“I love you.” Phil kissed his lips softly before scratching Banana’s head.

\---

The week was eventful, to say the least. The cake batter Banana poured on herself, the consequently following bath, the two AM runs around the house, the six AM wake up calls by sitting on Dan’s face, Phil complaining of not being on the receiving end of the wakeup calls, the war against toes and shoe laces, the three glasses ‘somebody’ threw from the counter. All of that was nothing compared to the cuddles, the purring, the love and understanding look Banana gave them the moment they felt anxious or sad. The decision was simple, they were adopting a cat. 

\---

It took a full month of research on cat behaviour and shelters in the London area for them to actually feel ready to get norman a little sibling.

This particular shelter had the cats outside of their cages so they could roam around and play together, which was exciting and a little terrifying. Dan feared he could accidentally step on one of the kitties, but all of his fears melted away when he heard a mighty yell from a tiny kitten who was attacking his shoe. 

Dan crouched to pick it up. “Helloooo!” The tiny beast was mostly eyes and a ball of fluff. It was so incredibly tiny, Dan felt like weeping.

“Oh hello, handsome boy,” Phil said right next to him. A much older cat was rubbing against his sheens and raising his head to meet Phil’s hand but made sure to keep a close eye on the kitten Dan was holding. When the elder cat settled down a bit Phil noticed he was missing one eye and that broke his heart. “Awww, what happened to you? Do you need a loving home?”

“Oh my god, I hope nobody hurt him or I will cry myself to death.”

“Oh no, Pirate here was found on the street, his eye was infected and even though he went through a long treatment he lost that eye. Luckily he is back to full health despite being 10 years old.”

“He is so sweet. Oh my goodness,” said Phil picking the cat up. 

“He is now, but that was not always the case. When he first got here after he got his health check, he didn’t trust most of the volunteers and he looked absolutely miserable. He barely ate anything. I was honestly considering adopting him myself because elders cats have fewer chances of being adopted, especially if they are hurt, and it seemed to me like he was wasting away, but about two months ago, Aqua,” she said scratching the head of the kitten Dan was holding, “decided to yell and let us know she was outside. She had been abandoned in a tiny box with holes. At first, she didn’t care much for humans, but she immediately took to Pirate and they haven’t been apart for more than 5 minutes since. They have both become more sociable and relaxed kitties.”

“Oh my god, Dan! We can’t split them apart, they are a family!” Phil pleaded but when he looked into Dan’s eyes he saw they were brimming with tears. 

“Of course. Besides, we can’t leave pirate behind to live a lonely and miserable life. We are taking them both”.

The volunteer clapped her hands. “Perfect! I’ll set up the paperwork for you right away.”

Dan and Phil smiled while rocking the cats gently. Aqua tried to chew on Pirate’s ears but he held her head down with one paw and groomed her.

“Aww, I want to eat them!” said Dan.

“Nobody is eating anybody. We are all a family, Dan, Phil, Norman, Pirate and Aqua.”

“Just in case, we should keep Norman’s tank with the lid on.”

Phil sighed. “Ok, but we will teach them to be nice.”

“Of course, we are their parents now.”

But Dan and Phil had nothing to worry about, Aqua and Pirate liked to sleep beside Norman’s tank and occasionally chase him with their eyes but they never tried to hurt him. Norman welcomed the distraction and kept making bubble nests. As for the snails, Phil wasn’t sure what they thought, or if they were even able to think.

Two years later Phil would realize that cat sitting Banana was the trigger for the cat adoption, resulting in them moving to a bigger house with a yard, and the adoption of their rescue Corgi, Sparrow (Jack). What he didn’t know was that Dan was going to bring up the topic of adopting children over a romantic dinner that very night. 

Half an hour away, in a different neighbourhood, Banana yawned and rolled over on Lauren’s lap. ‘Silly humans, they thought they had a chance of not loving cats’. Her plan had worked perfectly; now she had cats to play with when her momma was away and everyone was happier because of that. 

Lauren scratched Banana’s head, “My sweet girl, you are the smartest of them all.”

'Indeed.' 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave 1 or 5 kudos or 35 comments, they will be all welcome. I don't expect many people to read this fic but I have been surprised before.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr: [Succubusphan](http://Succubusphan.tumblr.com/)
> 
> In case you wish to reblog the fic: [Tumblr Link](https://succubusphan.tumblr.com/post/189987032426/pirate-and-aqua-summary-dan-and-phil-cat-sit-for/)
> 
> Have an amazing Christmas guys, and a bitching 2020.


End file.
